Untie my dreams to the wind.
Renounce the Idols I follow.
Relinquish my all to my king.
Enough of this futile existence.
Nothing else from this life will I claim.
Death will come as I drop my resistance.
Emptiness will be my claim to fame.
Release your spirit within me.
Indwell the void make it whole.
Now father let my life be for your glory.
God to you I surrender control.
Galatians 2:20
How Paul could say this with so much confidence I will never understand... He literally let himself cease to exist, to the point he could say, I no longer live Christ lives in me... I wonder if there are moments when I surrender my life only to reclaim it again when the work or the task at hand is completed by God. I wonder if I take my yoke when I need Christ to carry me through, and lay it down when I've fulfilled 'what is required of me'.
I had one of those moments last Thursday... I was speaking to a friend about why some people seem more endowed with the gifts of the spirit than others and God seemed to be speaking through me, cause what I said was not a part of any knowledge I had, but as this thought came to me, I felt the pride well up inside me and before I knew it, I had interrupted the Spirit of God. I was dumbfounded. speechless. and as I sat there having paused mid sentence talking to my fried, (he looked expectantly at me while I pondered all of this), two things dawned on me, and God impressed one thing on my Heart.
I knew for the first time that YES!!! God can speak through me, And I realized that the only thing preventing Him from using me was myself and the parts of my heart and consciousness that are not surrendered to Him. God impressed on my heart the sadness of the moment though... 'The moment passed Nilan, you took controll back'
What if I stayed surrendered to him a moment longer, what if I never took back controll? Would my friends doubts finally be laid to rest? Would my own? The sad things is I will never know... But I did learn something from the experience... I never in my life have wanted more to merge those moments of surrender when he ministers and uses me into a life that embraces the cross than I do now. But until I lay down this broken crown of pride and pick up my cross, I will never know what could be.
And who knows maybe it's not a case of a moment maybe that moment is right now, maybe rather than all those moments growing and merging into a life of death, that is surrendered to Christ, and knowing that it is thus. Maybe it's simply a case of knowing that he is in me and choosing to obey him until it becomes second nature and before I know it He is in control, He becomes first nature, the Spirit renews my mind, And I am transformed in death into Him. Living on as a living sacrifice. (Romans 12:1)
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